I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
