the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
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The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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