Porn is love you can see.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
