The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
