yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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