She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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