sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
