I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
