at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
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I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize