He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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