Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
