Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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