Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
