dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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