Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
