just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize