two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Found your dick twin last night
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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