Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
But we have bathrooms and they dont
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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