They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
