Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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