i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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