I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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