Where is the hickey?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
