I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
