I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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