I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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