i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
