I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dignity is for republicans.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
