can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize