every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
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My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
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Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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