yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
