Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
