so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
