this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
