The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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