Me too!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
