she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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