The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
