I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How does it feel to date your dad?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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