there's paper in my vomit.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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