she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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