p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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