maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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