she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
