i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just had sex bonerless
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
