I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
