Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
