dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
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If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
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I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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