was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
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No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
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Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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