Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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