I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
