That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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