I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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