One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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