just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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