I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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