they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
