question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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