sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
