Having a random hookup so left but love u
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
