Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
