Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
